Finding Euphoria

How I wish I could bring back that moment where I was very happy. Not just the typical happy-happy you get in an ordinary day, but ---I was in euphoria.

Every inch and angle of my day was exactly how I wanted it to happen. Even more than I expected it to be. Not even a single glitch can make me irate, nor can it wreck my day. I want to feel it again, that sweet taste of being for once, the happiest person alive.


I know my moment of euphoria shall come once more. And life will be sweeter if it’ll come sooner than I expected it to come :)

Losing Grip

What if a person is too preoccupied anticipating for the near future, looking forward to the wonderful conditions authority has prepared him/her to encompass. What if the person stands with full certainty that what matters most right now is the road ahead ---and he/she cannot wait. What if unknown circumstances lead the whole output to a completely different path. All because the person was too preoccupied anticipating and anticipating and anticipating. All the same, has neglected to treasure and enjoy special moments left unnoticed due to too much absorption of what is wanted.

When the long awaited arrangement marked its point of inflow, it succeeded. However, has lost the foremost essence and reason why it even began.
Like superstars, neglecting the people that made them possible.
Like constructing a building, without its blueprint.

And what has it bring about? Disappointment? Regret?


Isay, Please. Wake up. You do not live in a world of fantasy where you make things the way you want them to be. Maybe you are taking things TOO lightly not knowing that something/someone just came along the way, and what was once dear to you unexpectedly fades. Not only for an hour, days, or weeks, but forever.

In this fast-paced world we live in, there’s no more space for shoulda, woulda and coulda’s…

Tomorrow will be a different sail.

I have to admit and I’m not scared disclosing this just so to appear tough and invincible ---I feel lonely today.

I spent the night with some friends, yet ended up feeling lonely. Or perhaps this possibly is the effect of having a monotonous routine everyday.

Well sometimes, it is ok to be lonely. And it is normal to feel lonely.

Comes a time when in good company, you couldn’t ask for more and be grateful as well. Then you add sweet moments like those in your pretty treasure box of good memoirs that are worth looking back.


Take note: It is just for today. Tomorrow will be a different sail. =)

I wish

I wish I'd had a room in my future house where I can clear my head. You know the feeling when your sitting underneath a tree on top of a hill overlooking some fields and it's breezy and your looking straight but not really focusing on anything. And nothing's occupying your mind except the feeling of the wind on your face, the smell of the lush greenery around you.. I need to put all of that in a room. Cause sometimes your head is just so full of crap that you can't really focus on any one thing and the sheer quantity of the crap in your head makes your head so heavy that you just want to close your eyes and drill a hole into your head so everything can just sit still and be quiet. Yeah, I need that room. Kinda.

FILE CORRUPTED

Has my vocabulary already been that corrupted? Haha
YES. a list of things you can't say around me or else i'll be laughing off at your face:

1. come/came (e.g., 'i can't come tonight' or 'he came to me and...')
2. hard (e.g., 'i found it very hard')
3. moist (but nobody uses this in everyday conversations)
4. wet (e.g. 'my car is wet')
5. penetrate (penetrate!)
6. swallow (seriously, don't use this hahahaha) and finally,
7. the telecom company named 'siemens'

I think I've gone mad. Haha

Bitter much?

I'm really not in writing mood now. I just feel that it would be better to express my repressed feelings through writing instead of endlessly blabbing about it. I'm blogging about a certain someone who's been really getting into my nerves.

Madame,
With all due respect, tell me. What the hell is your problem?! I was just out with your BESTFRIENDS. No more, no less. It's not like I'm planning to take them away from you!



Why do you have to post such thing? Insecure much? And why do you have to be so bitter? In case you haven't noticed, what you just posted reflects your personality. No one's being replaced. You don't have to act so pathetic!

And before I forget, Have you ever heard me say such mean things to you and to my friends when you got close to them and made a group of your own without me? I bet you didn't. It's because I'm the better person. I'm not pathetic. And I have faith in myself, my friends and our friendship. And I think it's about time you should too.

Say you love me.

Despite our eyes ready to fall out from its socket due to the prior night's hangover, feet blisters lurking somewhere to say hello, waiting in vain for someone's arrival, stage frights, free lotus feet pain from our endless dancing on high heels and some random high school shmandom ---I'd like to conclude that Katrina's party was a heck of success.

GREAT PARTY Madame!
I LOVE YOU! <3

Appreciation

I do believe that God never gives us something we do not deserve, but along the way, we get blinded by other pleasant things that we actually forget the worth of what we already have ---until when God takes them away from you. But I also believe that God doesn't take them away from you because he wants to hurt you. He takes them away because he wants you to learn to appreciate the little things we always take for granted, the little things we deserve. He takes them away to help you be the person you were when you first received his gift. He doesn't want you to be less the person you are nor higher, he simply wants you to be you. Just as you deserve his gifts, and his gifts deserves you.

He will not make it easy for you, but do know he means well. In the end, the most important thing are the lessons learned, and how you rise from it to become the best version of yourself. Learn to appreciate God's gifts, and be thankful for it. ---you family, friends, partners, career, and life itself.

I can never ever look at things the same way again.
The smallest of things i have always taken for granted, are my life now.

Approaching IT the mature way.

Both Boy A & Boy B has loved only one girl, the same girl. Boy A & Boy B clearly has been faithful for the same girl for years already (which only proves how much they love her) without her knowing. But unfortunately, when the time came for Boy A & Boy B to let their feelings out of their system, both got turned down by the girl (note: politely & with respect). Both stranded in the same situation, Boy A got FURIOUS! He couldn’t believe that after long years of loving her, he was turned down effortlessly. He cursed the girl to hell and promised himself to never see her again or at least communicate with her. On the other hand, Boy B, felt disheartened (of course) but instantly shoved the pessimistic side of his. Not even once has he cursed the girl. And instead of losing all means of communication, he earnestly told the girl that it doesn’t matter if she couldn’t give the love he has longed for. What matters to him is despite the situation, he will still love her unconditionally.

...Did the girl give him the chance? That I do not know.

This was the example given to us by our Philo teacher. This shows us that Boy A’s approach in the situation was purely childish and that he needs to GROW-UP first. In someway, he was being utterly self-centered, egotistical in a sense. On the other hand, Boy B was man enough to accept the situation and that because he loved her, nothing can stop him from loving her on and on...

They say we humans have 4 NOBLE MOTIVES in life. And that is to live, to learn, to serve and to love. All four are balance, universal and non-negotiable.

The one primary greatness is to love, to show and give love for others. To be loved is only a secondary greatness and it is a gift.

You cannot determine or choose who should love you in return. Thus, if you are being loved, treasure it, feel blessed because it is a gift. But if that person cannot give you the love you have wanted or asked for, don’t whine about it and act like a baby. Be man enough, stop being immature and GROW-UP!

This not only applies to love, it is relevant, but when you get stucked up whatever the circumstance: approach it the mature way!

Formspring answers!

Do u think that formspring is the website u can truely see people's true side???
NO! haha i write a lot of made up sh*t in mine.

If you were a cactus, why?
because i am the wetness in the midst of every dryness? WTF


Here's a BOY ABUNDA question. What song best describes your life? :D
HATE MY LIFE by theory of a deadman. Just Kidding. The Weight of the World by The Editors


Who's the person you look up to? (Uhm, among your friends.):D
Cesar. Only because he's soo much taller than me!


When did you start drinking beer?? :D
Second year highschool? I have high tolerance for alcohol. No need to be concerned sissy! =)

If you were given the chance to be a part of the cast of a movie, what movie would that be and why? :D
I'd be Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City!! I quote, Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.


How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
after ten years from today i'll be twenty eight. aside from being filthy rich, i think by then i should be planning me and my partner's wedding. :) i actually don't mind so much about exactly where i'll be living at that age, but i have a couple of conditions about the house:
1. i own it.
2. i want to live in a really peaceful and secure village where houses can be gardens apart, and if possible, with no or low fences.
3. it has all the things i want in a house. a walk-in closet, a home movie theatre room (but i don't like the ones that actually look like mini-cinemas), a bar, and... well i'm not sure if i want a pool.

Cats or dogs? Why?
dogs! i just don't find cats cute. plus i think dogs are waaaay more intelligent and loyal as companions. i honestly think that cats are as good as goldfish when it comes to stupidity haha. but what i like best about dogs is that they can both be cute and mean. "MEOW" is just not mean.

What was the worst advice you've ever received?
just pray.

What's your motto?
I'm hot, you're not!

Food for thought.

Someone once said:



"If theres something you can't buy, its class."

She's right. Because not even the richest can buy it, YOU EARN IT. And for all you know, she's not even close to being one.

Prejudice.

There's a certain pleasure in making an ultimate and final judgement on another person. It's why we love to hate Paris Hilton. We love to believe that she'll always be dumb, and she'll always be rich, and she'll always be blonde. And since it's wrong to openly judge "real" people, we judge celebrities instead because we don't have to think of them as real.

We've all been guilty of reducing someone to a 2-dimensional character. But each time I've done this, each time I've thought I've read a person right, they do something to surprise me entirely, something human and good. And I realize I can't judge a person entirely for one thing they said or one thing they did. Everyone is a work in progress, everyone is a flowing river that never stays the same.

People choose their actions based on what they believe is right, at a given time, and depending on what they've experienced up to that point. New experiences will come after that, and the person will change, whether it is visible to you, to me or not.



The tongue of the wise
useth knowledge aright
but the mouth of fools
poureth out foolishness.
PROVERBS 15:2

Ataraxia and Kansas City Shuffle.

Lindsey: We are dealing with a bona fide case of mistaken identity here.

Slevin: Yeah.

Lindsey: Things like that aren't supposed to be real. It's like amnesia.

Lindsey: Not withstanding, here you are and Nick's nowhere to be found, so... I'd say you're fucked.

Slevin: Fucked.

Lindsey: Shouldn't you be a little more worried about all this?

Slevin: I have ataraxia.

Lindsey: Ataraxia?

Slevin: It's a condition characterized by freedom from worry or any other preoccupation, really.

Mr. Goodkat: The reason I'm in town, in case you're wondering, is because of a Kansas City Shuffle.

Nick: What's a Kansas City Shuffle?

Mr. Goodkat: A Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right, you go left.

Nick: Never heard of it.

Mr. Goodkat: It's not something people hear about. Falls on deaf ears mostly. This particular one has been over twenty years in the making. No small matter. Requires a lot of planning. Involves a lot of people. People connected by the slightest of events. Like whispers in the night, in that place that never forgets, even when those people do.

ATARAXIA EVEN IN A KANSAS CITY SHUFFLE.